Flirting, whether it comes naturally or you have to pick it up, is the most basic romantic gesture to show that you’re interested in someone. It’s okay to be nervous at first, but once you pick up confidence, you’ll not only be able to flirt yourself, but also pick up when someone is flirting with you. It’s used to help get to know someone while sparking a connection, and a fun way to express yourself without being too obvious with your intentions. In this article we’ll explain some tips on how to flirt, as well as how to tell when someone is flirting with you.
1) How to Flirt In-Person
Make eye contact – Eye contact is one of the easiest ways to tell if someone is flirting. Glance but don’t stare, then look away and smile, it gets everyone. Also, when paying a compliment, look into their eyes; it makes the conversation more meaningful. For girls specifically, lower your gaze then slowly look up through your lashes!
Smile – Although this is probably a given when talking to someone you like, smiling is one of the easiest ways to lighten the mood and can help to start a conversation.
Use Body Language – Body language is a big way to display your intentions towards someone. Methods such as turning towards the person, keeping an open stance, and “accidently” brushing a hand against someone can also work.
Tips in action: At a social gathering I was crossing paths with someone and happened to glance at their shirt. It was a band shirt, the band whom I also liked, so I said “Hey, I love your shirt! That band is awesome!” and they smiled and thanked me. I continued the compliment by accidently following up with “I also think you’re really cute”, then proceeded to walk away in embarrassment. Later that night, the person’s friend messaged me online asking if I wanted their friend’s number from earlier, so being a bit bold may help at times to get your point across!
2) How to Flirt Virtually
Approach casually – Don’t freak out and forget the basics to a conversation. Open the conversation in a low-profile way, such as “Hey, what’s up?” It’s short, sweet and to the point.
Open the conversation both ways – Don’t just talk about yourself, ask questions to the other person and then reply with your personal answers. Just know when to press for more information, and when to let things slide so you keep things interesting and there’s more subjects to talk about at a later time.
Leave them wanting more – Know when to back out of a conversation before it gets awkward. You can simply leave them with a “So I’ll talk to you tomorrow then?”, which will make them look forward to the next time you talk.
Pictures - Don’t send photos of yourself if you are uncomfortable with the idea of them circulating around the internet. This is also called “flirting” in some cases but it can backfire if it goes the wrong way.
Tips in action: I was scrolling through Tumblr and came across a Pokemon joke, because who doesn’t like Pokemon, right? It read “Charmanders are red. Squirtle’s are blue. I could be the perfect one for you”. Very simple, and cheesy, but whoever it was towards must have found it adorable! Sometimes these can work if you know the person is into a certain hobby, TV show, and this even works with music!
3) Tell if Someone is Flirting
Personality – Watch how they react to the things you reveal about yourself, and what sort of questions they ask. This can be a major key that they’re interested. If you’re with them in person, and the crush laughs at your jokes automatically or glimpses at you from time to time, this can also be a sign of interest.
Eye Contact/Body Signs – As mentioned above, eye contact is a major detector that someone is flirting. Especially if said person steps back and looks from head to toe, you should know they like what they see. If a person flips their hair or touches their face, they’re trying to be subtle.
Tips in action: recently I was at a concert and a guy behind me was trying WAY too hard to flirt, it was funny actually. He was older than me, suspecting I was a few years older than I am. He kept staring me down and brushing his arm against mine, making obvious signs he was into me. At the end of the night he approached me and we began talking, but when I was leaving I made it clear I had no intention of continuing anything with him.
Overall, these signs should help you with flirting and detecting if someone is flirting with you. Flirting is to express yourself, not to rant or pretend to be someone you’re not. With these tips you should soon be a flirting master!
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