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Lithium Nom nom [POEM]

Dec. 20, 2017
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it’s chewing inside
then, swallowing
chunks of chocolate and hazelnut cookies
then,
more’s stuffed in
handfuls of oil-dripping, slightly burnt fries
nom nom

“i’m hungry”
shut up, i’m sleeping
“hmm”
you’re not hungry
“you’re right–“
“but there’s cheesecake in the fridge”
“lemon poppy seed cheesecake with orange glaze”
please!

i hate you
you twirl my stomach into brownie crumbles
my eyes into crushed pie crusts
twist my mind to numbers and equations
weight divided by height divided by height
i hate you
as much as my bmi

nom nom
“hi–” i hate you
“i am you”
i learn to loathe the monster in my stomach
aching for sugars
i can feel too much of myself
my skin, my stretch marks, my thighs
my head tingles as i pinch the utmost of my belly
my hair, my wrists, my mind

i know
my thoughts are ripened cherries
and colored lilac
but my mirror reflects a monster
defined by numbers
and pantones of gray

nom nom
please
nom nom
you’re a monster
“i am you”
i’m a monster
“no”