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Sex & Relationships How to use Mercury in retrograde to your romantic advantage

Aug. 10, 2017
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Mercury in retrograde is one of the most notorious phenomenons in astrology, mainly because it can be a huge pain in the butt. Seeing as Mercury is the planet of all things communication, it makes sense that us earthlings have the tendency to lose it when the universe sends it into reverse. What's especially frustrating is that Mercury goes into retrograde about four times a year, and each march backwards can last up to three weeks. Although Mercury in retrograde can cause a ton of miscommunication and wreak havoc on our relationships, we can also use this hectic energy to our advantage. When Mercury goes into retrograde on August 12 (it’ll stay in retrograde until September 5), resist the urge to freak out!   

Trust me when I say Mercury in retrograde is an auspicious time for relationships, especially if you've been in a weird funk with your partner.

A prevailing idea in astrology is: as above, so below. This seemingly simple phrase is meant to remind us that whatever is going on in the cosmos is reflected back to us here on earth. Of course, I don't mean to imply we're devoid of free will. Astrology-savvy people simply know how to harness the energy of the universe to their benefit. Once you accept the the notion that the stars and earth are working in conjunction with one another, your soul power and what you’re capable of will be enhanced. Try to keep these thoughts in mind as I get real about Mercury in retro.

If you're a Virgo or Gemini, you'll feel the effects of Mercury's backward dance the most. Virgo and Gemini are both ruled by Mercury, so expect these signs to be out of wack as summer draws to a close. It's also important to note that this retrograde will occur in the sign of Virgo, so all Virgos should be on especially high alert. As a Virgo myself, I’ve always found Mercury in retro difficult to deal with. From delayed payments at work to countless broken electronics, Mercury in retrograde has often been frustrating for me. Luckily, I had an understanding Gemini BFF to lean on during those times. Cosmic hiccups are much easier to deal with when you have someone to commiserate with, right?

OK, now onto the positive aspects of this event. If you've read anything about Mercury in retro, then you've probably heard about all the ways it cause miscommunication and drama within relationships. Although this can be true, it doesn't have to be. Read on to learn how to use Mercury in retrograde to your advantage!

If you've picked up on any awkward or tense vibes within your relationship… now is the time to bring it up. Mercury in retro is all about reevaluating what has transpired in the past, and during this time it's likely you'll have better insight into these issues. Before you initiate a conversation with your partner, engage in a few hours of quiet reflection to hone in on what you really want to say. I recommend lighting a candle with essential oils, dimming the lights in your room, and journaling down all of your thoughts and mind-blowing revelations. Although you may feel tempted to lash out at your partner, don’t let Mercury goad you into doing something you may regret! Instead, take this opportunity to iron out any small issues within your relationship. There's a good chance whatever is going on can be fixed with some honest and thoroughly-considered communication.

If you and your partner have been distant lately… visit a place that's special to your relationship. When Mercury is in retro, it's totally OK to be nostalgic and to revisit the past. Although we're often encouraged to live in the NOW, it's important to replenish our souls with meaningful memories on occasion. A little nostalgia never hurt anyone, right?  From August 12 to September 5, go out to eat at your favorite restaurant or re-watch a movie you both bonded over once upon a time. If you're feeling really creative and entrepreneurial, recreate one your best dates. Ultimately, Mercury in retro can either broaden the gap of intimacy or bring a couple closer. Instead of succumbing to negative thoughts, use Mercury in retro's fondness of the past to your advantage—you’ll have fun, and the experience will likely remind you of all the things you love about your partner.

If you're single and missing an ex… reach out now. Mercury in retro presents the opportunity for you to open a door of communication that otherwise might remain closed. I suggest starting off with a friendly text or message on social media to get things moving in the right direction. Considering that this retrograde will be in the low-key sign of Virgo, it's really important you avoid grand gestures or theatrics. If you keep things cool, casual, and friendly, you'll likely have better results. If you're having trouble channeling your inner Virgo, take a cue from a famous Virgo like Alexis Bledel. Bledel is the epitome of a cool and collected Virgo, and she has always kept her private life private. If you’ve been thinking of posting an open letter to your ex on social media, er, think again. Less is always more under the sign of Virgo! 

If your relationship issues involve a friend or family member… not to worry—these tips can be applied to friendships and familial relationships, as well! The important thing to remember here is that Mercury in retrograde doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom; on the contrary, it can be a beautiful thing, if you let it be. To ace this transit in the relationship department, don’t be afraid to take a cue from the past; make sure to broach any partnership issues with care and consideration; and don’t be afraid to make contact with anyone your heart has been longing for.