The word “breakup” conjures images of fights with your significant other, hastily-deleted Instagram posts, and a week spent crying into a box of heart-shaped chocolates à la Elle Woods. However, there’s another type of breakup that we don’t think about that often--even though it can be just as devastating: the friend breakup. Once you’ve decided that it’s time to call it quits, here’s how to break up with a friend while maintaining your sanity.    

1. Be prepared to argue

As much as we all wish that our problems could be solved by hugging it out, sometimes life forces us to work out our problems in a different way. Reflect before you meet up with your friend on why you feel the relationship is not good for either of you and the type of relationship you’d like to have with this person afterwards. Will you have no contact? Do you hope to remain friendly?

2. Speak from your own POV

Even if you’re mad, hurt, and upset, it’s important to fight in a healthy way. I know, I know: that’s much easier said than done. Avoid mocking, bringing up inconsequential things from the past, and insult-flinging. Speak from your heart and talk about how you feel. After all, you can only speak for yourself! 

3. Protect your heart 

In the heat of the moment, hurtful things may be said. Make sure you let people who love and care about you know that you’re going through a friend breakup, and lean on your support system afterwards. 

4.  Know when it’s time to let go

Understandably, there may be some tense feelings between you and your ex-friend following a friend breakup. Stay strong, and remember that you made this decision for you--for the sake of your own mental health. Take a deep breath: you did great.