Non-believers of astrology love to say, I’m nothing like my Sun sign. Skeptics use this line as the bedrock of their arguments against astrology, and it’s actually a good one. Yes, it’s possible for you to be nothing like your Sun sign, kind of like how a person won’t be a carbon copy of their parents. You’re a beautiful combination of life experiences and DNA, right? Likewise, your astrological profile is composed of a wide breadth of planets and unique factors, and it’s OK to feel disconnected from your Sun sign on occasion.
A key area where you’re likely to experience this disconnect: matters of the heart. How you love is determined by Venus, not your Sun, so if you’re a shy Virgo in your day-to-day life but find yourself unreserved in love, you can thank Venus for this role reversal. To better understand yourself in relationships, it’s important to know how you love—for example, my Venus in Libra, which means I’m the peacemaker in my relationships, and I prefer partners who are gentle-hearted.
To find your Venus sign, check out this chart. Got that part figured out? Good. Now, here’s how you love, according to Venus:
Venus in Pisces
Your strength is… being in tune with how your partner feels. You’re all about the feels, Venus in Pisces. If your partner is feeling down, you always know the right thing to say, and you can get to the heart of what’s wrong in mere seconds. You truly see your S.O., and that’s a big compliment. Many of us are just dying to be seen, and a Venus in Pisces person always delivers in this regard. You’re the master of deep talks, sweet love notes, and genuine gestures. Keep on lovin’, Venus in Pisces!
Be careful of… going overboard with your emotions. Although your ability to go deep is one of your best qualities, it can also get you into a bit of trouble. Maintaining emotional stability in a relationship should be your priority. It’s OK to give your big heart a break sometimes, Venus in Pisces! Instead of breaking down, channel your feelings into writing or art. If you’re looking for some inspo, look to Sun in Pisces Johnny Cash, who made a living turning his heartache into art.
Venus in Aries
Your strength is… your ability to motivate your partner. You’re on fire, Venus in Aries, and everybody knows it. Your confidence burns so bright that it’s easy for you to champion the dreams and hopes of your S.O. You have this beautiful knack for believing: if your partner wants to land a coveted internship, you’ll be the one to get them jazzed and ready for the interview. If you’re dating a Venus in Aries person, you better be open to the power couple thing, because they’ll take you to great new heights. Keep on sharing your bright light, Venus in Aries!
Be careful of… bossing your partner around. A Venus in Aries knows exactly what they want 99.9 percent of the time, and their fiery personalities can cause them to be a bit domineering. Venus in Aries people are also short on patience, so there are a lot of opportunities for them to lash out at their partners. That being said, please have some patience in love, Venus in Aries! Just because you’re ready to jump head-first into opportunities and relationship milestones doesn’t mean your partner is as comfortable as you are with taking chances. Everybody goes at their own pace—and that’s a good thing!
Venus in Taurus
Your strength is… your reliability. In the age of social media and fake news, reliability is an incredible asset to have. Sure, it might not sound super exciting on paper, but there’s something to be said for someone who won’t flake or bail on their S.O. As a Venus in Taurus person, you won’t ghost anyone, and you’ll never cancel a date. Better yet, you’ll always be upfront about how you feel. What’s the point in pretending, right? If your Venus is an earth or water sign, this is your holy grail type of partner. Thanks for holding it down in the love department, Venus in Taurus!
Be careful of… giving into your stubbornness. You’re a rock, Venus in Taurus, and no one can shake you. Your dependability and stability is unparalleled, and this makes you a desirable match to most signs. People want someone they can lean on, right? Unfortunately, your grounded nature can often work against you, too. The problem, Venus in Taurus, is that you don’t give in enough. It’s good to know what you want, but what about what your partner wants? You might want sushi for dinner tonight, but what if your S.O. feels like having pizza? The natural inclination for a Venus in Taurus is to resist compromise because you are often too stubborn to budge on what you want. If you remain preoccupied with just your needs, however, this could alienate and frustrate your partner. Don’t be selfish, Venus in Taurus. Remember that you’re in a relationship with another person with their own sets of wants and desires. Once you get past your stubbornness, you’ll be golden!
Venus in Gemini
Your strength is… keeping things exciting. A Venus in Gemini always has the best date ideas, and they never bore their partners. Venus in Gemini people excel at mentally stimulating their partners, and they won’t settle for someone too stale. If your Venus is in Gemini, you need someone who you can verbally spar with or someone who won’t get tired of your high energy. Try meeting someone new while on vacation, or at an art opening—the more interesting and stimulating location, the better. Thanks for keeping love fresh, Venus in Gemini!
Be careful of… being flaky. Oh, Venus in Gemini… where do I begin? Venus in Gemini types can be all over the place at times, and I mean that figuratively AND literally. Venus in Gemini people are interested in everything (and at times, everyone) and will often find it hard to commit to one thing. If you’re a Venus in Gemini, you’ve probably canceled a date with your partner because something more enticing came up. Or maybe you’re the Venus in Gemini who’s always late to dates because you’re easily distracted. Either way, you have to control your flakiness, Venus in Gemini. If you don’t, your S.O. will grow tired of trying to nail down your attention. Chasing a love interest can be fun, but the game can only last for so long, right? Invite your partner fully into your world, Venus in Gemini. Share your many interests with your S.O., and become a better multi-tasker.
Venus in Cancer
Your strength is… your vulnerability. A lot of signs struggle to open up when it comes to love, so take this as a compliment, Venus in Cancer. Even if you’ve been hurt before, you’re still the most loving and emotionally vulnerable person around. You’re probably the first to say “I love you” in a relationship, and you’re a pro when it comes to heart-to-hearts. Fellow water signs are drawn to your sensitive soul while earth signs admire your powerful emotions. Thanks for keeping your heart open, Venus in Cancer!
Be careful of… parenting your partner. Venus in Cancer people, you are the mommas and poppas of the zodiac. As friends and lovers, Venus in Cancer people are dependable, selfless, and the ultimate ride-or-die companions. A Venus in Cancer’s desire to take care of their friends and partners is something to be praised, but it can also have a downside. Who wants to parent their significant other? If you’re constantly cleaning up after your partner, or incessantly reminding your boo about homework assignments, that should be a red flag. There’s no shame in helping your partner, but there’s something amiss if you’re micromanaging your love’s life. On the flip side, Venus in Cancer people can easily fall prey to being taken advantage of, so make sure to advocate for yourself in any relationship.
Venus in Leo
Your strength is… making your partner feel wanted. Venus in Leo people are all about grand gestures, elaborate dates, and PDA. A Venus in Leo person is never short on affection, and they’re not afraid to show their partner that they care. Venus in Leo people tend to make the first move, and they won’t shy away from chasing someone they want. If a Venus in Leo person were a TV show, they’d be The Bachelorette/Bachelor. You got the whole love thing on lock, Venus in Leo. Although your strong affections and confidence might scare off some water and earth signs, a fellow fire-sign Venus should be your perfect match. Keep turning on the charm, Venus in Leo!
Be careful of… stealing the show. Venus in Leo people love to be the center of attention, and they naturally crave the limelight. Although a Venus in Leo’s confidence is undeniably sexy, it can overshadow their partner’s shine if they’re not careful. This obviously doesn't mean that a Leo should hide or diminish their own accomplishments to make their S.O. feel better. All I mean is that Venus in Leo people should make concerted efforts to champion their partner’s successes and to celebrate them in general. A lot of the signs can be shy (I’m looking at you, Venus in Virgo!), and a Venus in Leo should use their natural confidence to give a voice to their lovers.
Venus in Virgo
Your strength is… your loyalty. Venus in Virgo people are incredibly supportive partners, and they won’t bail if things get tough. If your partner gets sick, you’ll be the first one to bring them a Z-Pak and some takeout. If your partner is having issues with a family member or friend, you’ll listen to them until they have nothing left to say. In short, Venus in Virgo people understands that relationships can take work and that even the best partnerships have ups and downs. If you win a Venus in Virgo’s heart, you’ll always feel safe and supported in the relationship. Thanks for always being there, Venus in Virgo.
Be careful of… criticizing your partner. Venus in Virgo people are pretty damn perfect… or at least they try to be. Correspondingly, a Venus in Virgo person often demands a similar level perfection from their partner. Spoiler alert: no one is perfect (praise be!), and expecting perfection from the people you love never ends well. Try and keep in mind that you didn’t fall in love with your S.O. because they do everything right 100 percent of the time. Chances are, you’re dating your partner because they’re gloriously real and human. Although you’re impressively analytical and observant, Venus in Virgo, don’t use this superpower to inadvertently hurt your S.O. Instead, praise your partner for all their positives, and be sure to uplift them with affirmations. Venus in Virgo people have a way with words, so this should be easy to do!
Venus in Libra
Your strength is… keeping the peace. Venus in Libra people are the ultimate compromisers, and they love to make their partners happy. Better yet, Venus in Libra people don’t have bad tempers, so you’ll never see a Venus in Libra lose their cool. If you’re someone who doesn’t like theatrics or dramatic texts, get together with someone whose Venus is in Libra. Thanks for being an ace compromiser, Venus in Libra!
Be careful of… falling in love just to be in love. It’s no secret that Venus in Libra loves love. Being in love is an incredible feeling, but ignoring your true desires for the sake of being in a relationship will catch up to you in the end. Yeah, you don’t want to be alone, but it’s not cool to sacrifice your standards for a less-than-stellar situation. Not to mention that it’s icky to take advantage of someone’s genuine emotions to satiate your own needs. Be patient and wait it out to find your ultimate partner, because it will happen. You have a deep well of love to give, and your right person will come around one day.
Venus in Scorpio
Your strength is… your passion. When a Venus in Scorpio is in love, they’re in love. A Venus in Scorpio’s passion is unparalleled, and their partners will be drawn in by their unfaltering intensity. If you’re a Venus in Scorpio person, your S.O. has probably noted your emotive eyes. A Venus in Scorpio person’s emotions are always visible in their eyes, and this is an attractive quality. (If you’re not sure what I mean, just look at Jared Leto’s character Jordan Catalano in My So-Called Life.) A Venus in Scorpio person is mysterious, broody, and is everyone’s crush. Thanks for keeping things deep, Venus in Scorpio.
Be careful of… your ability to spite. Venus in Scorpio people are not to be messed with, and I pity the person who dares to wrong them. Although it’s admirable that Venus in Scorpio types don’t let themselves get played, they need to remember that it’s OK to ease up on the whole vengeance thing. Take a cue from Frozen and just let it go, Venus in Scorpio! If someone screwed you over, they’re not really worth your time anyhow. An interesting ex-couple to learn from is Kris Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner, both Sun in Scorpio people. Years after their intense marriage ended, they’re still shading each other and smearing each other’s names in the press. Nobody has time for those kinds of games, and neither do you, Venus in Scorpio. If you’re feeling wronged, talk it over with your partner/ex instead. Communication is key for a healthy relationship, and you have the emotional depth to generate some intense healing.
Venus in Sagittarius
Your strength is… instilling optimism in your partner. A Venus in Sagittarius person is the ultimate optimist, and they can easily cheer up their partner with a simple joke or witty comment. You are such a bright light, Venus in Sagittarius. You always see the best in people, and you’re an expert at turning a crappy situation into a positive one. Although you’re not unbreakable (everybody has a limit, right?), you’re definitely harder to crack than other Venus signs. Subsequently, you tend to pass these positive vibes off to your partner. It’s difficult not to smile around a Venus in Sagittarius person, and you’ll win over hearts with your good attitude and upbeat outlook on life. Thanks for always being so positive, Venus in Sagittarius!
Be careful of… your need for independence. Full disclosure: I have a Sagittarius moon. If you have no idea what I mean by that, it means my inner emotional being reflects the typical traits of a Sag. Subsequently, I’m very independent and I don’t like to feel suffocated by the person I’m dating, and I prize my me time above all. Independence is often synonymous with strength, but it also can signal a fear of intimacy. It’s OK to be your badass independent self, Venus in Sagittarius—in fact, I hope you cultivate your fierceness on a daily basis, because it will take you far in life. That being said, I also want you to lean on your partner from time to time, because you can’t do it all on your own 24/7. Accept help and love from your S.O., because that is a big part of being in a relationship. If you have a big test coming up, allow your partner to bring you takeout while you study. Don’t be afraid to open up your heart, Venus in Sag—there’s nothing to fear.
Venus in Capricorn
Your strength is… your sincerity. As a Sun sign, Capricorns are very career-oriented and ambitious. These traits also apply to Venus in Capricorn people, and they tend to be more focused on work then they are on love. This being said, when you Venus in Cap types finally do fall in love, you wholeheartedly mean it. You won’t get into a relationship just because (no shade, Venus in Libra—well, okay, a little shade), and you won’t casually throw around the word “love.” If you’re carving time out of your busy schedule for your partner, then you know this person is a keeper. In relationships, you’re dependable, strong, and consistent. Thanks for keeping it real in love, Venus in Capricorn.
Be careful of… your workaholic nature. Venus in Cap people thrive on their successes and accomplishments, which is amazing. You’re a go-getter through and through, and it’s guaranteed that your partner is SO proud of you. While you’re out there conquering the world, however, be sure to carve out one-on-one time with your S.O. Snagging that internship may be your top priority (get it!), but it’s also important to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. Life is a delicate balance, and you can’t overdo it in just one department. Remember that it’s OK to relax once and awhile! Even if you have to schedule out your dates, so be it. Netflix and your boo are calling, Venus in Capricorn.
Venus in Aquarius
Your strength is… keeping your partner intellectually stimulated. A Venus in Aquarius wants to have deep intellectual talks with their partners, and they won’t settle for someone who can’t keep up with their impressive minds. A Venus in Aquarius is also an unconventional thinker, so they need someone who will be open to different ways of loving and thinking. If you’re a Venus in Aquarius person, you’re great at organizing dates that intellectually stimulate your partner. A Venus in Aqua person has no problem planning a cool outing to an art museum or independent bookstore. Venus in Aquarius people appreciate their partners’ minds first, and that is beautiful. Thanks for your dynamite insight, Aquarius!
Be careful of… treating your partner like a friend. OK, so don’t take this to mean that you shouldn’t be friends with your partner. Friendship is a huge part of any successful romantic relationship, right? Also, I imagine a relationship devoid of camaraderie would be pretty bleak. That being said, Venus in Aquarius people prefer to keep things cool, casual, and fun with their romantic interests. If you’re a Venus in Aquarius person, you don’t prefer attachments—which is 100 percent fine! But your IDGAF attitude could send mixed signals to your crush, which could get you fast-tracked to the friend-zone—again. Don’t be afraid to open up your heart to love, Venus in Aqua. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s easier to handle disappointment if you don’t give in to your feelings, but it’s better to be hurt than to not try at all. It will all work out in the end, Venus in Aquarius.