Good evening, ladies, gents, and everyone in between! On tonight's episode of the The Dating Game we’ll being taking an in-depth look into the ins and out of that horrifying social ritual we like to refer to as “dating”.
As someone who is newly single, the idea of getting back out there in active pursuit of finding “the one” makes me a little sick to my stomach. However, once we are ready to get back on that horse, here are five tips and tricks for dating with worthiness and setting yourself up for finding that perfect match.
1. Learn to be courted
Ladies, hold on to your empowered feminist hats, because this topic can get a little sticky.
Now, I’ve always been one to offer to split the check (because, you know, equality), but it wasn’t until recently that the guy I was on a date with responded by telling me that I could pay if it was important to me, but it was his honor to do so. This got me thinking about a lot of things.
Being cared for does not make you incapable. Relationships are about being able to give and receive: they take nurturing, vulnerability, and the inclination to hold each other to higher standard. So if a man can’t show up on time, open your door, and buy you a nice meal, is he really going to provide you with a long-term life filled with respect, commitment and a little romance? Probably not.
So, ladies, sit back and enjoy: your empowered feminist self deserves it!
2. Never settle
Although this seems obvious, if we really look back on our previous relationships, we’ll probably find that we saw the red flags and we settled for them anyway. Although learning to communicate and compromise is an important part of building a relationship, if there is chaos from the very beginning, run and run fast. There really are plenty of fish in the sea, and if you're stuck in a relationship that feels like you’re always just trying to “make it work”, well, you’d better open your eyes and realize that it’s not working.
3. Let them work for it
This seems like the old advice that my grandma used to give me about how a lady should never call a man. Well, Grandma, you were kind of right. Although I’ll call a man whenever I damn please, never forget that you have options. If he’s not making an effort to hold your interest, take a sharp U-turn and start heading in the direction of someone new. People work hard and go after what they want. If you feel like you’re constantly having to reach out first to your potential partner, or make plans for dates, it’s because you are.
Own your greatness: don’t fight for someone who’s not fighting for you.
4. Say no
Say no—a lot. Instead of going out with someone who does not meet your standards, stay home alone and Netflix and chill with your cat. It’s easy to get mixed up in the fun of dating and the thrill of being with someone new, but if you’d never see yourself with them long-term (or even short-term), save yourself the trouble and skip it.
Say no, and hold out for the real deal. I promise, they're coming!
5. Make your intentions clear
As strange as it may feel, the first date should be filled with the phrase “I want”. There’s nothing wrong with sitting down with someone and telling them your career goals, and that you would like to be married with a kid in the next 10 years. Make your intentions known from the start. If your potential partner gets scared off, or wants to spend the next 10 years living on his mom's couch attempting to find himself, they’re probably not the right person for you, and it’s time to suddenly fake an illness and make a quick getaway.
Stand by your goals: you’ve worked very hard to create them!