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Lithium Why do we love when guys sext with sound?

Apr. 28, 2020
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On April 11th, TikTok user @nayeleeeee posted a video featuring the intro of a Lizzo song and a simple message in tandem. “I’ve been waiting for this one. Turn it up!” She mouths, gesturing to a text box with the words “when he finally sends you a video of him nutting with sound.”

Three days later, the Call Her Daddy podcast’s official TikTok account shared a similar clip. With a sultry R&B song throbbing in the background, a message slowly appears on a Word document reflected in a woman’s sunglasses: “don’t send d pics…send vids of you finishing with the sound on.”

These TikToks have approximately 340,800 and 113,000 likes, respectively, which means that the desire to hear a vocal orgasm while sexting isn’t an uncommonly held one. But why? Why do we enjoy this so much? What about a man’s moan could possibly be so good that a total of 4,038 people have left comments like the following?

When you hook up with someone, you can often tell if your partner is enjoying it based on the sounds they’re making or the way they’re moving. But all of that unfortunately disappears during the act of sexting—which, when executed correctly, can be a lot of fun. 

There will, however, undoubtedly come a moment when you become hyper-aware of the fact that sexting contains no guaranteed ways to gauge pleasure. There’s no more “that’s perfect” or “right there.” You’re entirely reliant on iMessages promising that “I’m so hard right now,” which—for all you know—could be a fat lie. (Because, like, how many times have you sexted a guy and been like “I’m so fucking wet” when you were most definitely not so fucking wet? Exactly.) Even when nudes enter the equation, even when there’s a visible body you can match to a text, the act still feels depressing in its digitization. Like, why am I showing a man my ass via low-angled, carefully manipulated iPhone photos instead of just...showing him in person? 

Enter sound. My theory is that “nutting with the sound on” functions in much the same way body signals do in non-virtual situations. Having audible evidence of your partner’s visceral reactions is what will turn your static sext into a living, breathing thing. When your sexting buddy responds to you in real time with moans and groans, it can help to take away some of the cold, detached feel of what you’re doing. It mimics the intimacy and closeness of a real-life situation.

But maybe you don’t give a shit about intimacy and closeness. And if that’s the case—if you’re stuck alone inside because you don’t have a quarantine boyfriend—then I’m still strongly advocating for your horny self to try sound-sexting. 

Why? Because if, like me, you thrive on attention and this situation has made it virtually impossible to obtain a lot of that, these videos can be huge confidence boosters. I have a feeling that many people find them hot and satisfying for the same reasons why so many people find giving head hot and satisfying, despite the fact that there’s little physical pleasure involved in both acts: it comes down to power, to knowing that you’re good at something.

Think about it. The knowledge that a simple photo of your body can bring a man to orgasm is already a pretty big flex in itself. (Pat yourself on the back for that one—it means you’re fucking hot.) In a sense, you’re holding some control over what’s happening to his body, even from a distance. But when his orgasm includes sound, it takes things up a notch. That noise is primal, unbridled; it’s a tangible indicator of how he’s lost control of himself—all thanks to you. You sexy bitch.

So here’s what I think you need to do to maintain love (or lust) in the time of quarantine: try this out for yourself. If you’re horny and starved for human connection, this might not be the real thing, but it’ll have to do. You get what you get, and you don’t get upset, because—even if fleeting!—sound-on sexts can be pretty fucking hot. Send the TikToks to your S.O./FWB/whatever other acronyms I’m missing, and see what the response is. Me? I sent them to my HFWWISEN (Hot Friend With Whom I Sometimes Exchange Nudes) and he said “HAH.” And then: “Note taken.” So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got business to take care of. 

Visual by Raven Yamamoto