Let’s start with a short walk down memory lane. Relax, sit back, and close your eyes to visualize that magical moment—the first time you were on top during sex. I’m sure some of you will smile and reminisce, but most of us will remember way less delightful sensations: burning thighs, shortness of breath, sweating, and possibly even a broken dick (don’t ask).
Being on top just isn’t easy. Like, it’s harder to put a hole onto a stick than to put a stick through a hole. That’s a fact. But being on top is also way more intimidating than it has to be, and just like anything else, it takes practice. What helped me the most was simply asking my friends what they were doing, and damn did I get some good tips. So if you’re reading this from a place of desperation, I got you.
This is the most valuable information I received. Let’s say you’re on top of your partner, kneeling one leg while the other foot lays flat on the side. This spreads your legs enough for you to be comfortable during penetration, but let’s face it—after three minutes, most of us will be dying. Here comes the switch trick. When you’ve had enough, just switch your legs. You can alternate like this as long as you want.
This one I found out on my own. The easiest way to fuck a boy is to just squat over him with both of your feet standing flat. This not only allows you to spread your legs even wider and enjoy easier penetration, but it gives you strength as you use both of your legs to manipulate movement. You can go up and down or swing your hips—whatever feels better for you. In case you get tired, you can always kneel one leg, switch them, and then come back to squatting. This allows you to grab his balls by reaching behind and arching your back. You can position your other hand on his thigh, also reaching behind you. Not only will this help you relax your muscles by putting your body in a slightly different position, but he’ll totally lose it—I can assure you nobody ever expects such a delightful surprise.
Once you’re in, I strongly advocate for just taking a second to see how his dick feels inside of you. You can hold it at the base and move your hips so you adjust your position and see what feels good. Move back and forth or from side to side slowly, and once it feels right you can start to ride. Every dick is different, so you need to make yourself aware of how both your bodies can work together.
This can be a little problematic. For some of us, staying balanced while on top can be difficult. You can grab your partner by the throat (hot) or shoulders, or simply put your hands flat on his chest. It’s helpful for him to be in a sitting position for this. It can also be nice to hold your partner’s hands at a comfortable height. You can try holding on to furniture or walls, too—just make sure whatever you grab is stable, LOL. You can also try doing it on a chair. It’s way easier to manipulate your hips when your legs can touch the floor. If the bed you’re using is low enough, you can also put one leg on the floor to achieve a similar effect.
Being on top can be seriously intimidating not only because of the skill but because of the exposure. You’re not laying down, which is one of the most flattering positions for our imperfections. You’re right there in the open, in charge of what’s going on. It’s understandable if you feel shy or even scared. But don’t be! You’re already there having sex, so you can trust that your partner wants you. Whoever you choose to please will appreciate the effort you put in. Besides, being on top looks super hot. Just really own it, and don’t be scared to find your own way to ride.
Photo by Tory Rust. Design by Ashley Britton for SheKnows