Lithium: Do you think loving yourself is something that only exists in moments? Or do you think loving yourself is actually constant?
Bianka: I think truly loving yourself is constant, but there are moments when you can forget who you are and where you come from, and get set back.
Lithium: What’s something you genuinely love about yourself?
Bianka: I love that I can control my emotions when it comes to stressful situations. That part of my character has always helped me get through conflicts in my life.
Lithium: Do you think it’s important to love the good and the bad in yourself?
Bianka: Absolutely. Once we accept our flaws, we can embrace our strengths.
Lithium: What should you avoid when you fall in love with another person? How can that thing make someone's relationship fall apart? Have you seen it happen?
Bianka: I have never fallen in love, but if I do in the future, then one thing I would try to avoid is pride. Having pride isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s nice for achievements and keeping our dignity when faced with doubt. But it walks a very thin line when it comes to relationships, I think. Pride can create a gap between people in any relationship, but I feel that when it comes to romantic ones in particular, it truly has the power to hurt them to the point where they can’t be healed. It can cause people to say harsh things in the spur of the moment, or use impulsive insults and empty threats that, once said out loud, can’t be taken back—no matter how many times you say I’m sorry.
It can turn the sweetest person into someone bitter and sheltered in their own bubble. It can prevent two people from cooperating or communicating with each other. And I think it’d be hard for me to be in a relationship without those two things. The need to be right—that simple stubborness in little arguments—builds up over time. Soon enough, there’s this huge hole left that’s too big to be filled. I haven’t seen pride unravel a relationship in front of my own eyes, but as I’ve grown, I’ve come to see the aftermath of its destruction, as dramatic as that sounds. The wasted potential of someone’s “happily-ever-after” over their own pride is one of the saddest things I’ve seen.
I can admit to being stubborn at times, and more than once I’ve let my pride get the best of me. And to this day, it still does. It’s a constant battle within myself, but by the time I fall in love sometime in the near or far future, I hope that my pride won’t interfere with my potential of a happy ending.