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A completely serious guide to senior prom

May. 14, 2018
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The best part of senior year is hands down senior prom. It is something that we have looked forward to since the day we were old enough to say the word “prom,” and so it must be done right. As an experienced prom go-er, I’ve taken it upon myself to provide my fellow girls with some tricks of the trade to ensure an unforgettable prom night.

  1. Make sure you make it obvious to all of the boys you like—and even some you don’t like, just in case—that you’re available to be their prom date. Say yes to whoever asks; going alone is just sad. And, if you’re a shy person, have no fear; even though it’s 2018, you can rest assured he’ll do the asking. You just have to say yes!
  2. Gather your girlfriends together when beginning the process of shopping for a dress. This will generate some laughs—and compensate for how stressful the act of choosing the perfect outfit will be. Not to mention your posse will act as your panel of judges. No decisions should be made unless everyone is on the same page. Thinking for yourself is so last year.
  3. Speaking of the perfect outfit, three words apply: spare no expense. Aside from maybe your wedding day, this is the most important day of your life! I say go big or go home: the more rhinestones the better.
  4. It’s very important to establish the line between classy and trashy. Here are some measurements to keep in mind: the slit in your dress should not exceed one foot in length, and stilettos should not be higher than five inches. However, it is of course important to keep in mind that a girl should never be taller than her prom date. So for all of you tall ladies out there, adjust accordingly. Worst comes to worst (and I know this is truly the worst), I’d recommend flats.
  5. When picking the perfect prom hairstyle, you can never go wrong with beachy waves. According to a new poll by Vogue (the fashion bible that should be consulted at least once a day), long hair is in. Start planning your haircuts now! For you bold short-haired ladies, don’t beat yourselves up too badly. Bobs will have to suffice. 
  6. Makeup is key to bringing out your inner beauty. I know that everybody says “beauty is what’s on the inside,” but in my opinion, everybody looks better with a little touch-up, the key word being “little.” Everything should look natural. In fact, to the untrained eye, it should look like you didn’t put any on at all. A good price to spend on this natural look is about $90.
  7. Although senior prom occurs in early summer, I know that not all of you ladies will have had the chance to start tanning. Thus, some tanning salons I recommend are: Sugared + Bronzed, Beach Bum Tanning, and Urban Tanz. The darker the better, but keep in mind that orange is not in style. To determine what shade is too orange, simply compare it to Donald Trump’s skin. Enough said.

If you follow all of these tips, there is no doubt you will have a truly memorable senior prom. If there are any tips of your own that you feel I’ve forgotten, let me know. Make sure to take tons of photos, and share them using #prom2k18. After all, the whole point of prom is to increase your social media presence!

Gif from Nylon.