We’ve all been there. You’re speaking to That Person, and the seemingly innocent chit chat suddenly evolves into frisky messages with no way back. Heavy words involving some naughty onomatopoeias have been said, and you ask yourself—are nudes going to be sent? And if so, how much is going to be shown?

Let’s tackle this from a moral ground first. From my own personal experience I know that sending nudes can be a bit of a touchy, guilt-inducing subject. At a younger age I found it pretty shocking and dangerous. I remember girls in school talking shit about other girls who sent them—in their eyes, those girls were slutty and in the wrong. And then there’s the whole danger part: will they share it with their friends? Can I trust this person? At this point I’ve sent my fair share of nudes, and let me assure you: it’s not as big of a deal as some people might make you think. 

Think first.

Obviously, don’t send nudes to people you barely know. Once you put something out there you can’t unsend it. You need to remember that people—especially horny males—can say a whole lot of things to get what they want. So be cautious with who you’re sending your nudes to!

Don’t care.

Sex is still pretty taboo, and there are a lot of public opinions on what you can or can’t do. But honestly, you’re the only one who gets to choose what you feel comfortable with. If you want to heat up the atmosphere with some sexting, phone sex, or nudes, do it! Sex is intimate and vulnerable, and there’s no place here for shame. 

Angles matter.

Taking a great nude isn’t that easy. Whether you want to send it as a surprise or in the midst of a steamy convo, you want to present yourself as totally sexy and tempting. This means you’re not going to just lay there like a starfish and let the camera flash do the rest. You want the light to be dim and highlight the right spots. So take your phone, use the front camera, and try out different angles. 

• One of my favorite ways is to do it from the side. You can get a nice outline of your body, show some leg, and show some boob, but you don’t have to reveal too much. Grabbing your boob here is super sexy.
• Still using the front camera, you can also take pictures laying down while reaching your hand out in the air, in front of your body. This is super flattering for boobs. It’s also a good opportunity to make these collarbones pop! 
• You want to tease. If you’re already showing your boobs, maybe opt for a nice, provocative pose—for example, spread your legs and bend your back—and cover your pussy with your hand. You could also try a nice shot of your legs and slightly reveal your vagina. This will drive your sexting partner insane, leaving them to wonder what the rest looks like. 
• You can sit on your knees, spread your thighs, and have your back facing the mirror. Give the sassiest, sexiest, most provocative look and bend your shoulder to take the selfie. Trust me, it’s hard to not look hot in this position.
• Mirrors in general are super useful. Explore the endless possibilities by placing your legs in flattering positions, sitting, standing, putting your hand on your hip, on your back—whatever works. 

Gradual is good.

Speaking of not revealing too much, don’t reveal too much. At least not with the first nude. Sending nudes is playful teasing, so don’t rush with anything! At first you can show just a bit of your body—maybe don’t even show your boobs. Sending five increasingly revealing pictures is much sexier than sending just one fully naked one. You want to heat up the atmosphere and drive your sexting partner insane. So be playful and just enjoy yourself. The most important thing is that you personally like these pictures and find them attractive.