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Sex & Love A beginner’s guide to blowjobs

Jul. 28, 2020
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You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing.

Our all-time favorite Sex and the City queen, Samantha Jones, put it perfectly. Giving a blowjob can be a damn challenge. But giving a great blowjob is a true art form. It takes devotion, practice, and skill. In the midst of all the spit, hair, and gagging, one may simply get discouraged or intimidated. I feel that. My relationship with giving oral to men has had its ups and downs too. But I never gave up and nor should you, because there’s nothing more rewarding than seeing your man losing his shit when you give him head. And knowing a few tips can truly be a game-changer, so pull out your pen and paper—here’s my solid advice on how to suck good dick. 

  1. Take your time.

The penis is a sensitive organ, and you can really hurt your man if you’re too abrupt. Sometimes, when wanting to be sexy, we might rush and try to be too hardcore—no need for that. I suggest moving from his neck to his penis slowly, kissing and licking whatever you find on the way. Not only does this feel nice, but it builds up tension before you even touch his dick. 

Once you’re down there you can continue the teasing for a bit. You can kiss the area around his penis and start off with his balls. All of this will make the moment when you finally put it in your mouth extremely rewarding. 

When it’s in your mouth, slowly move your way to the base. This way you moisten the whole penis from the start and there’s a lower risk of hurting him with unnecessary friction. Again, the rhythm should be relatively slow. You can then alternate the speed and intensity at which you do it, always remaining as careful and sensual as possible. 

  1. The more eye contact, the better. 

Guys get insanely turned on when you look them in the eyes while sucking dick. That’s just how it is, verified and confirmed. So let’s say you’ve been down there for two minutes. You can move your mouth to the tip and then just turn your gaze to his face. Don’t break the eye contact and suck just on the tip, moving up and down. Trust me—he will lose his shit completely. You can then carry on doing your thing and surprise him with your gaze again when you’re all the way at the base. You want to be playful and daring here, since you’re the one laying down all the cards right now. Do it whenever you feel comfortable and when you sense that the timing is right. Just don’t be shy.

  1. The golden tips about the tip.

The most sensitive part of the penis is the tip. If your gag reflex is really bad, this is honestly a life-saver. While giving a blowjob you can spend a good part of your time on just the tip. You can pull out your tongue and lick it with the tip of your tongue. Then you can apply the rest of your tongue and slowly close your mouth on his penis. (This is especially effective.) From there, move your head up and down from the very tip to a bit over the quarter of the length of his penis. After a bit, suck on it while still moving your head. Simply close your mouth tighter around it and continue moving the way you did. Don’t do it too intensely, but leave your mouth locked firmly. A nice thing to do here is to sometimes pull it out of your mouth, lick it again, and then go back to sucking.

  1. Balls matter.

So much. Guys love when you touch their balls, especially when you do it while sucking their dick. So when your mouth is all full, reach your hand to his balls and gently squeeze them. You can keep touching them while you give him the blowjob. This is the extra-juicy element that can really make a difference or even make him come. You can also play with that sweet spot between his balls and his anus—some men are quite sensitive there and really enjoy it. 

Whether you start off this way or do it later, make sure to lick and suck on each of them individually. While you do this you can stroke his penis with your hand and give him a handjob, moving your hand locked on it up and down. Make sure to focus the movement mostly on the tip, and remember to be gentle. 

  1. Gags and all.

This can be a real issue. Take it from someone who has some vomit-related stories (not getting into this). Depending on the size of the penis it can be really hard to shove all of his business down your throat. This is also dependent on your own physique, of course, and what you’re into. Nonetheless, deep-throating is the goal. Even if you do it just for a bit, trust me—it’ll make him go crazy. Start off easy, and then once you’ve had it in your mouth for a while, push it a bit further down so it touches your palate. 

This tip-palate situation is what will really get him off. Something that can help you pull this off is to turn your gaze at him while you do it. The head placement will make it way easier to move your mouth up and down without gagging, because it won't go down your throat—it’ll just slide on your palate. Make sure to keep your mouth closed tight around his penis while you do it. You can alternate and open your mouth wider to breathe some air in, which also feels nice for him and will make the moment you get back to sucking much more rewarding. 

  1. Breathe! 

Don’t forget to breathe, chica. Since your mouth will be busy practically at all times, you need to constantly breathe through your nose. That might seem obvious, but you need to honestly remind yourself of this and make sure you do it. If you don’t, it could result in a pretty weird and uncomfortable situation (like having to gasp for air while deep-throating and spitting all over the place—don’t ask). 

Don’t worry about taking a pause for a breather either. You can keep touching him and even say something sexy or smile provocatively. Don’t overthink, it and don’t kill yourself—no dick is worth it, and think of how sad it would be to die choking on someone’s penis. 

  1. Relax and don’t worry.

Don’t be nervous. Honestly, the fact that you’re going down on him is everything. There’s a saying that blowjobs are like pizzas: when it’s good it’s great, and when it’s bad it’s still pretty good. Every guy will appreciate and love that you’re between his legs. So own it. Do it because it’s fun and you want your partner to enjoy himself. Sex is supposed to be an intimate and fun experience—one where there’s no place for shame or stress.