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Sex & Love 10 ways to spice up your sex life

Feb. 12, 2020
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Spicing up your sex life can be intimidating. Very intimidating. But if you know that you want some more excitement in your love life, don’t hesitate to make your wants known! You just need to take it one small step at a time. Here are ten simple things that you can try out to have more fun in the bedroom. 

  1. Purchase some lingerie. When I first went out to buy lingerie, I was terrified. I thought everyone would judge me. But the exact opposite turned out to be true. The employees were more than happy to help me pick out cute pieces without any judgement. If you’re not comfortable with visiting a lingerie-specific store yet, Target and H&M both carry lingerie in their undergarment sections. I’ve found some pieces there that make me feel sexy without breaking the bank. Finally, if you feel you aren’t ready to try lingerie just yet, just putting on your cutest pair of underwear can make a huge difference in your sex life. The key is to wear what you feel confident in. 
  2. Realize that sex is about more than just penetration. There are so many parts of our bodies waiting to be explored. Have some fun with foreplay and see what makes you feel the best! Personally, I love going down on my partner just as much as actual penetration. It’s really exciting and satisfying to know that you’re able to make your partner feel good in so many unique ways. Everyone is different, so make sure to communicate your desires to your partner. You should never feel ashamed to ask for what you want, as long as your partner is consenting.
  3. Have sex in new places. Simply being with your partner in a new location can make things exciting. There are plenty of locations around your house or apartment that may work, such as a bathroom, kitchen counter, couch, etc. You could even try to shower together. This will probably take a little bit of patience since things tend to get slippery—but I’ve found that the shower is a great place for foreplay and exploration. You can save the actual penetration for right after. 
  4. Make a good playlist. This is probably my easiest, yet most effective suggestion. Find some music that gets you going and let it play! Music helps ease tension and build the mood. You’ll be surprised by how much a good song can bring you both together, mentally and physically. 
  5. Use a sex toy. Sex toys are great to use both when you’re alone and with your partner. There’s a huge array of sex toys ready to be explored. I started my sex-toy journey with a small vibrator from a nearby store, but if you don’t feel comfortable going out, you can find tons of options online.
  6. Participate in some simple roleplay. The key to roleplay is to have an honest conversation with your partner about what you’re both interested in trying out. This doesn’t need to be overly complicated. Start with characters or situations that you’re comfortable with, and if you both decide that you want to try out something new, you can! 
  7. Send nudes. If you’re feeling confident, why not send a picture or two? This is a really easy way to get both you and your partner excited to have sex. Before sending nudes, make sure that you really trust the person that you’re sending them to. I would recommend sending them through an app like Snapchat so you can see if the person takes a screenshot. If you don’t feel comfortable sending naked pictures yet, don’t fret! I love sharing pictures of myself in a cute outfit or lingerie with my partner. Leaving things up to the imagination can be just as fun for your partner. 
  8. Sext. Sexting can involve sending nudes, but it can also be its own separate thing if you’re uncomfortable with photos. Words have a lot of power, too—so use them to your advantage! Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about what you’re craving, what you would do if you were together in person, etc. Sexting can set the stage perfectly for the next time that you’re physically together. I love sexting with my partner and then recreating what we discussed the next time that we’re alone together. 
  9. Try a new position. This one is pretty self-explanatory. There are so many interesting ways to have sex, so why stick to just one? Personally, I think it’s really fun to be on top of my partner. Try out some new positions and see what works for you. 
  10.  Use a mirror. This may sound random, but having a mirror nearby while you’re having sex can really make things interesting. You and your partner will be able to see everything that’s happening—which can be a huge turn-on! I was nervous to use a mirror for the first time since I still wasn’t super comfortable with how I looked. But after trying it, I was so glad that I did. I thought that the sight of us together was beautiful, and it made me so much more confident in myself. 

I hope this list sparked some inspiration. Just remember, don’t be afraid to communicate your desires with your partner(s). Your wants are valid, and sex should be nothing but fun!